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Today is World Orgasm Day and, to commemorate the date, TodaEla will give some tips and information on the subject, with some clarifications from sexologist Walkiría Fernandes.

The date was created in England on July 31 by sex shop chains to encourage the use of articles from these stores to increase the pleasure of couples. These networks conducted surveys that revealed that 80% of English women do not climax in their relationships. And that, unfortunately, does not happen only with the British, no.

Despite all the female sexual revolution of recent decades, there are still many doubts about this issue from many women around the world.

Even with all the information available today, there are still women struggling to get there. Therefore, more than “infallible techniques”, we also want to discuss issues that may make it impossible for you to search for orgasm to get rid of taboos, knowing your body better and, especially, your ability to feel pleasure.

The media is full of news of the “ultimate solution” for women who have trouble reaching orgasm. However, there is no surefire formula for this. After all, no woman is the same as the other, and the factors that make it possible to reach pleasure or not change according to their characteristics.

You can't say, for example, that all women come to orgasm faster in a specific sexual position. It depends on each one's preference and how she feels best.

However, as in the beauty and professional sectors, society and the media impose standards and rules that are often impossible to comply with. Thus, more and more, women feel so pressured to have orgasms every time they have sex, that they end up feeling frustrated when it does not, generating situations where they fake pleasure to satisfy their partner as well.

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According to sexologist Walkiría Fernandes, orgasm is also currently seen as a luxury that should be shared with everyone: “It's common for people to say things that might give them the impression that they have fantastic sexual performance. For some time this was done only by men. This is currently part of the female universe as well. It is not uncommon among the female wheels to hear comments on how many orgasms each has in their sexual relations. Each one wants to surpass the other and those who cannot reach them, or shut up or are seen as different from the others, almost like an ET, ”says Walkíria.

Worrying about what other people will think may be one of the big reasons women have difficulty in pleasure, according to the sexologist. “There is a great need for affirmation and concern for the image the other will make of it. There seems to be competition between people who are richer, prettier, smarter, more powerful, etc. So when some women can't reach penetration orgasm, they pretend not to give their partner the impression that they are. 'less' than the others and for fear of being left by him, since usually the man feels responsible for the woman's orgasm ”.

“When this orgasm does not occur, he can be unsure of his performance. This is why many men charge both their partner's orgasm and penetration. The higher his or her charge, the harder the orgasm becomes, ”adds the sexologist.

The right thing would be to take advantage of the moments of two in the best way, in a natural way that the orgasm happened as a very pleasant consequence and not an obligation that can even disturb the sexual relationship.

However, simulating unearned pleasure is not good for you or your relationship, and you do not enjoy the benefits of a more enjoyable sex life. Generally, the issue of lack of orgasm is in one organ: the brain. But why do so many women?

Pleasure statistics

According to a recent survey by Temple University in the United States, released on Live Science, the pretense can come from female insecurity and even fear of intimacy. Approximately 60% of heterosexual women interviewed in the study have already feigned an orgasm during intercourse.

The survey was conducted with 366 women between 18 and 32 years old, who said they pretended due to fear of intimacy, insecurity about their performance in bed or because they simply wanted the relationship to end soon.

A small group of participants said they feigned orgasms to improve their own sexual arousal and it was found that this set of women actually had higher levels of sexual satisfaction. Which reveals that pretending a little, even occasionally, can even be beneficial in achieving pleasure.

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Other research by Columbia University found that women pretend for fear of male infidelity with a way to "hold" their peers. However, research aside, other factors that may still lead women to fake it may also be stress, lack of partner "skill", anxiety, depression, religious concepts or dysfunctions that deserve medical attention. The fear of being considered frigid is also part of the factors by which they pretend.

A study conducted by the USP Sexuality Project (ProSex) also found that 50% of Brazilians have problems related to lack of orgasm.

Carefree climax

According to sexologist Walkiría Fernandes, the key to reaching orgasm more easily is not to worry so much about it. "Once she doesn't care what the other will think of her - or if he's expecting her to have an orgasm - then she can get erotically involved, aroused, and come to orgasm, " he says.

The expert's tip is to be a more assertive and carefree person, free of taboos and judgments. “Our sexual responses do not obey our commands. The longer a woman expects to reach orgasm, the less chance she will have of getting it. If she is still unable to reach orgasm, she should seek therapy to get her help, ”suggests Walkíria.

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Raising the question of the need for treatment, the professional comments: “Each case must be evaluated so that the causes of the difficulty in reaching orgasm can be understood. Psychological factors can obviously be responsible for this difficulty, as well as the quality of the marital relationship. ”

Walkiria stresses the importance of the woman getting to know her body better: “In the process of therapy, all of this is seen and worked on. There are some suggestions and guidelines that the sexologist can give to help women understand themselves better, know their body, their feelings and reactions ”.

Working through Sex Therapy, which is best suited for this purpose, has all this and other more specific issues for each case.

“One of the main focuses of Sexual Therapy is assertiveness, because there is no way for a person to feel pleasure and reach orgasm if she is not focused on her erotic sensations, because she is focused on the impression she will make on her partner. The best way to have this pleasure in sex is to be able to focus your attention on your erotic feelings, that is, to be able to enjoy everything that is happening. Sexual arousal will come as a result of this and orgasm will follow, when no obstacle is placed on it, ”concludes Walkíria Fernandes.

More Tips

The tips you see below are nothing new to anyone looking for more pleasure. However, it is always worth remembering to put them into practice at the time of "let's see". Check out:

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• Know Your Body - When alone, touch your body and discover the areas that most arouse you. See masturbation as a healthy habit, which can also help you a lot to figure out how to have pleasure with both of you;
• Invest In Foreplay - If your partner likes to go for face penetration, have a chat with him and guide the boy through a slower and more pleasurable process so that his body is explored for him to get more excited and get more pleasure;
• Take your time - The quickie can be very exciting in some situations, but overall, a longer sex drive can be much more enjoyable. Mostly for you;
• Try toys to spice up the relationship - Are you still ashamed to pay a visit to the sex shop? Forget shyness and explore the possibilities these stores have to offer. There are a variety of toys that can make your sexual relationship more enjoyable and enjoyable. Also, many of them are so discreet that you can even carry them in your purse;
• Don't Take Worries to Bed - Problems at Work? Discussions with the family? Account in red? Leave it all out of your room at bedtime. Try to forget all the problems at this time;
• Get carried away and forget your shyness - A little fat there, a streak here: does it still make you shy when it comes to sex? Well, know that most men do not even notice these issues, which can hinder their income in bed. Free yourself from these worries and indulge in the relationship;
• Tell Your Partner Preferences - Is there a position you enjoy most, but your partner doesn't do often? Maybe you want to tell him how you like it. Don't hide your preferences out of shame or fear that he doesn't like it. For them, any position is good;
• Lend a hand for pleasure - You are overexcited, the relationship is excellent, but you think you still can't make it? Help your pleasure with masturbation. Don't be shy, it can be very exciting for him too;
• Bet on lingerie - How about making some surprises with sexier lingerie? This is within the reach of women from all walks of life. There are beautiful pieces in both department stores and the most upscale. Check out some tips to inspire you in this gallery of TodaEla;
• Test New Positions and Experiences - If you are used to just two or three sexual positions, it might be time for you to research and diversify the menu. Here at this 2011 Orgasm Day TodaEla link, you can check out a special article with some exciting positions;
• Read more about it and watch movies for inspiration - Always find out about sex, both scientifically and instructively and in fun through books or movies. With the inspirations of these devices in your memory, you can make your moments hotter.

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Contributed to this article:
Walkiria Fernandes - Sexologist
sexologawalkiriafernandes.com