In relationships, empathy may not be a very good thing

Have you heard of empathy? Generally speaking, this is when we have the ability to put ourselves in someone else's shoes to understand how they are feeling. Here at Mega we have already talked in great detail about how it works in our brain and about people who are extremely empathic.

As you can imagine, this is a pretty good feeling that should be practiced by more and more people - have you ever wondered how crazy it would be if everyone stopped thinking about their own belly button? We would eventually adopt behaviors that we know would not be to attack and not even offend friends, family, co-workers and even strangers.

It turns out that empathy is not infinite. It is normal for us to end up applying this behavior in certain social circles, such as the workplace, but forgetting - or not having the strength - to do it at home, for example. And that's where the danger lies!

One near an umbrella

Empathy can also be used for evil. Let's see: If you can understand your partner's feelings, then you are expected to do nothing to harm him, right? Not always. Some empathetic people manipulate others' heads by knowing how they will act in a given situation.

A practical example is to make your partner feel sorry for or pity you during a fight, thus reversing the blame for something you have done wrong. This is also visible when we behave in ways that please someone, but deep down we are masking aggressive behaviors - and that's where abusive relationships can come in. How many times have you heard that “He was so amazing in the beginning”?


And now, Mega?

Well, we are not saying that empathy is ONLY bad. On the contrary: when practiced for good, it is extremely amazing. However, there may be feelings and we behave most importantly within a relationship, such as mutual responsibility, value sharing, trust, knowledge of boundaries, sexual fit and emotional intelligence.

Because empathy is more a matter of perception, you can exchange it for dialogue, for example. Instead of guessing what the other is feeling, why not ask? "How are you? What do you need? What are you feeling? ”: Questions that help any relationship be more understandable and healthier.

And be really open with your partners: leave sentimental games aside and open the game when something bothers you and never forget to compliment good and unexpected behavior. After all, nobody wants to end a relationship and have to start from scratch with someone else, right?

One near an elephant