Why do we fall in love?
Suddenly someone in your life starts to pique your interest. You talk and your heart beats, your hands shake, your throat goes dry, and you have the distinct feeling that at least two dozen butterflies have settled in your stomach. Spend time and "potato": such a person inhabits your dreams and all you want is to be near her.
With rare exceptions, we all go through or will go through it - and it's simply amazing when the feeling is reciprocal. The question is why do we fall in love? Why do we have this almost need to find a person to love and want to be with, to protect and to twirl with them hand in hand? What are the factors that make us like someone?
What is known is that romantic love happens through a number of factors, possibly with the aim of preserving our species and, according to a 1989 study, some questions need to be met in order for us to unknowingly realize come to be viewed in a different way:
1 - Similarities: These range from similarity in terms of beliefs and personality traits to ideologies and thinking.
Propinquity: We tend to like people who live geographically close to us. This is because, for the relationship to work, it is necessary that the couple has to see each other often and spend time together.
3 - Desirable Characteristics: Here enter those details of the physical appearance of the person that catch our attention: it may be the eyes, the hair, the shape of the hands ...
4 - Reciprocity: When the other person is attracted to you too, the tendency is that you both end up enjoying each other even more.
5 - Social influences: The ability of a person to satisfy their social needs if they accept to be by their side is a decisive factor in terms of passion.
6. Other Needs: If a person meets his need for companionship, love, and sexual expectations, for example, it is quite possible that the relationship will mesh.
7 - Doing Unusual, Exciting Things: Being with a person in a different environment and doing some things that are beyond their routine is a great way to spark romantic love.
8 - Spend time with no one else around: Needless to say, right, this is a guaranteed way to give that little push so that things flow between the two lovebirds ... Anyway, it is hard to remember.
Mystery: The feeling of not knowing everything about a person and not being sure about what they think and feel can be very exciting in terms of passion and romantic love.
These items were raised based on reports from college students describing their love experiences. The factors that counted most were characteristics considered desirable and present in the other person and, of course, the infamous reciprocity.
According to the study's conclusion, entering into a serious love relationship requires setting aside some aspects of our autonomy. Now if the other person has characteristics that we consider desirable and admirable, his presence in our lives can be understood as an expansion of our personality, not as a kind of loss of freedom.
In 2007, a neurological study confirmed the psychological discoveries made in the late 1980s. People in love have lower levels of serotonin, which is the substance that gives us the feeling of satisfaction. In chemical terms, we can say that love brings us a kind of OCD.
This is precisely why some of the factors mentioned above, such as excitement and mystery, when related to the feeling of love, increase the chances of feeling more anxious, which raises our blood pressure and adrenaline levels in the body.
The relationship between love and adrenaline is so true that the existence of this substance can make a person believe they are in love, even if they are not. It's her adrenaline that also makes it easier to fall in love with someone we know in the midst of an exciting situation.
As for proximity, what happens is that being around someone we care about makes our body produce more dopamine, a hormone that gives us the sensation of pleasure. When we are in love, the mere memory of being loved already causes the brain to produce this substance.
Over time, the love we feel for that person who conquered our hearts and the reciprocity of this feeling make us produce the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin, which are directly related to bonding and fidelity between people. Then just enjoy and be happy.