Want to succeed? So abandon self-esteem

(Image source: Shutterstock)

A growing group of researchers and scholars are advocating a theory that may seem strange at first: for you to succeed, you have to give up your self-esteem. And once you get rid of it, start using a very similar "attitude": self-pity.

As an explanation, scholars claim that self-esteem makes you bound to be a happy, successful, and error-free person. When these requirements are met - or well underway - you can feel good and at peace.

The problem starts when you make a mistake or when your plans go wrong. Because of this “obligation” to be happy, these moments are especially tragic. Thus, it is normal for you to face any unfavorable situation with very critical glances - especially in relation to your attitudes.

Okay, but what is this self-pity?

When you feel compassion for someone else, it is normal to see their mistakes and defects in a comprehensive way. That is, self-pity can be explained as the act of mildly observing one's own mistakes - but without forgetting to correct them.

That way you will better understand all your shortcomings and will know how to act at critical times. In addition, you will also begin to better understand your capabilities so that you can accept negative moments without affecting your ego, which will pave your “trail of success”.

And who said all this?

This theory is based on some serious studies, such as that performed by Berkeley University scientists Juliana Breines and Serena Chen. They gathered several volunteers, one part of whom spoke of themselves from the point of view of compassion and the other of self-esteem.

The first group was able to speak very well of all their qualities and shortcomings, without being pedantic or unfair to their own personality. Meanwhile, the latter had worse results and failed to advance in research like the others.

Source: HBR