Is it really "it's the scoundrels they like best"?
Humans love stereotypes, no matter how bizarre. Psychologically, the truth is that we have a certain need to fit in some labels, and today we are going to talk about two of them: the man "too good" and the typical "scoundrel".
“Every scoundrel is skinny, ” said Nelson Rodrigues, and “good guy only if f% d $, ” would repeat the popular consensus, not to mention, of course, “it's the scumbags they like best”, which leaves any Xico Sá reader with the smile from ear to ear. The question is: will it? Are women even more attracted to the dubious and good-lipped guys? Do the "good guys" really sidestep in the dance of flirting?
This statement that women really want bad boys runs counter to the idea that girls are looking for a caring, understanding, faithful, and loving man to give. Do bad boys really have their charm?
What does science have to say about this?
In terms of common sense, it makes sense, and none of these statements sound foreign to our ears, but is there any scientific evidence for this? Exist. Research suggests that some men drink and smoke precisely because these two habits help maintain the bad boy look, which makes them more attractive, at least in the short term.
In addition to the stereotype created with the help of drink and cigarettes, the definition of "scoundrel" includes behavioral issues from the rudest, most "chucro", almost insensitive guy. To understand if girls really like these guys, the way was to introduce a group of volunteers to a number of different personalities so they could rank their favorites.
In one of these studies, the volunteers had to help the fictional character Susan pick one out of three hypothetical men. One was the one full of affection and attention to give; the other, callous and cruel; and the third guy was neutral: neither scoundrel nor good guy. To the surprise of the researchers, the nice guy led the poll and was selected as the best option for Susan and who was voting too.
Other research that also sought to address the same issues of female preferences asked participants to read dating ads. The results showed that men who described themselves as altruistic were classified as more attractive for both short and long-term relationships. Again, point for the good guys.
Indeed, it is not by today that studies of this kind have proven that women really like men who are more sensitive, confident and light-tempered - very few women want to date men who are too aggressive and demanding. The truth is that when women describe the perfect type of man, the one who wins is considered cool, never the scoundrel.
It's the good guys, actually, that they like best
The truth is that being a nice person is only beneficial - having a kinder, cool personality can make a person more physically attractive. Characteristics such as sympathy, generosity and decency are valued by both men and women, by the way. Presenting these personality traits makes a person be seen as more beautiful and attractive.
Of course, we are not only attracted to nice people. The truth is that narcissists, who are, in psychological personality definitions, self-concerned, manipulative, arrogant people who feel superior to others, even if they are not, are attractive too - at least in the beginning.
The narcissistic trap
Narcissists are attractive in a toxic way and be careful with them. Because they value their appearance too much, they spend time building a good outer mask, which, in social occasions and short-term relationships, helps to create a vision that they are seductive, generous, and cool.
The problem with narcissists is lasting relationships, as over time we realize that these people are hard to deal with, cold, hostile, arrogant, selfish and aggressive. Precisely for this reason, narcissists are not known for having long relationships - both loving and friendship and work. Also, as long as these relationships last, narcissists do little good in almost any respect.
In addition to the narcissist's initial charm, which is one of the reasons why people end up dating scoundrels, there's also the fact that being with someone with these personality traits can be a repetition of the pattern, which is what happens when one always he relates to narcissists and ends up falling into their little chat, unaware of it in his conscious state of thought. Still, most people really prefer to relate to the “good guys”.
About the importance of breaking patterns
The problem with the common sense that women do not like good men is that this idea ends up creating an unrealistic stereotype, which helps to form unfair expectations about human behavior itself.
In practice, believing that women really like scoundrels has social implications in terms of misogyny and machismo, as this idea ends up allowing men to blame or hate women rather than just working their seduction techniques and romance ideals better. . In the end, what really works is acting non-bastard, boys. That way everyone is happier.