Is it normal to hate someone we already love one day?

Many people say that love and hate are two sides of the same coin, and it may be so, but why do many love relationships turn into anger? What causes our brains to fall in love with a person and, after a while, make us feel real revulsion for them?

Leaving philosophical, moral and sentimental discussions aside, today we will address the issue through the bias of Neuroscience, which usually gives us answers based on various research on the functioning of our thinking and curvy organ.

A recently published study rightly analyzed people who feel a lot of hatred for specific individuals. Unsurprisingly, the objects of hatred chosen by the participants were precisely their ex - some chose co-workers and few chose political figures.

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In deciding who they hated the most, these people had their brain activities monitored while looking at pictures of these individuals they hated so much. For comparison, study participants also saw images of people they considered neutral.

In the end, it turned out that the brain circuit of hatred brings together two brain structures called putamen and insula. The first is known to make us have feelings of contempt and disgust; and the second is linked to our responses to distressing stimuli.

So far, nothing too surprising, right? But according to neurobiologist and researcher Semir Zeki, the network that involves the work of these two regions is almost identical to the network that our brain creates when we are in love with someone. That is: there is a lump in this angu.

Two sides

"Hate is often considered a sick passion, " Zeki explained, showing us that even the structures of our brains consider love and hate sides of the same coin. Although they are antonym feelings, physiologically speaking they are super connected to each other.

Of course you cannot say that they are similar feelings, but it basically means that looking at someone's hatred you hate causes a small part of your cerebral cortex (region linked to reasoning and judgment) to be disconnected. On the other hand, when you see the picture of your big guy, large parts of that same region are no longer activated.

This story of turning brain connections on and off actually means that when you are totally in love, your ability to exercise logic and good judgment changes, but when you want that person you hate to spontaneously combust, your ability making judgments gets sharper.

Hate is normal then?

For Zeki, this is why passionate people reveal all the faults of being loved and only see their good points, while with regard to people they hate, they are extremely cautious in judging and finding reasons to base their hatred. It says: Are human beings amazing or relatively pathetic at the same time?

Basically, what this all means is that it is normal, yes, to hate that human being that you once loved so much. This does not mean, however, that you should feed this hatred - in fact, the less you think of that unbearable ex of yours, the better for you and your mental health.

When the rage comes, use some means of relieving tension: watch a good movie, go for a walk, have an ice cream, watch a funny video, and let the feeling pass. Hate is not the problem, the problem is what you can do with it.