About another day March 8

Today is the first time, on International Women's Day, I understand what is one of the biggest differences between female and male body biology. I'm pregnant, very pregnant, by the way, because my son should be born in about 1 month.

I, who are 30 years old and have planned this pregnancy with my husband, will often wonder how younger women who do not have any support from their baby's father or family can go through this.

The truth is that with pregnancy comes the blame. From the point of view of society, every woman becomes pregnant because she wants to, and therefore has an obligation, from the first positive test, to become an exemplary and dedicated mother.

For some, pregnant women are a social security burden - who doesn't remember the congressman's speech saying that women should have a lower salary because they get pregnant?

I remember when I was trying to get pregnant yet and I despaired whenever I saw that it had not worked, to look at pregnant women on the streets and think of them as full, beautiful and full of human beings.

Today I know that behind every pregnant woman there is a lot of fear, a lot of guilt and a lot of discomfort. Generating a life inside the belly is a crazy thing, and only those who have experienced it know for sure what I'm talking about. Of course the experience is different for every woman - my sister, who has three children, told me yesterday that she loved being pregnant every time. I, on the other hand, cannot say the same.

And it's because I don't love being pregnant that guilt comes with everything, isn't that what I wanted?

In my case, what keeps me from bouncing during pregnancy are the side effects that pregnancy brought me: low blood pressure, hypoglycemia, and the fact that I get sick after the main meals of the day, every single day.

Then we get used to it ...

My family already knows, for example, that after lunch, every lunch, I'm going to be sweating cold, going pale and sick for about 15 minutes - just for breakfast and dinner. As I have been going through this for 8 months, I feel increasingly tired. There is heartburn too, as well as pain in the belly and back and shortness of breath.

But when asked if it's okay, I say it is - and it is, in a way. My exams and my son's are great, so it's fine - but it gets tired. Behind every pregnant woman, now I know, is a tired woman for some reason.

Speaking of tiredness, by the way, there is something else that tires us: cheats, guesses, judgments and clueless comments. At Carnival, I mentally flashed every person who shared the image of that wonderful pregnant woman swaying on her stomach with a stupid message underneath - it was something like "she can skip Carnival with her belly that size but wants to use the preferred seat on the bus."

Having preference when sitting on a bus or paying a ticket at the lottery is not, as many people think, an advantage of pregnancy. It is just a way, in the case of the bus, to protect the pregnant woman in case of an accident or a sudden brake.

Ivete Sangalo was one who came into the delivery room dancing with the nursing staff, and that's wonderful. All my respect for her and the pregnant girl whose picture was misused to propagate prejudice.

It is not all pregnant, however, that can samba until the ninth month. It's not every pregnant woman who has nausea, not every pregnant woman who has bizarre desires, not every pregnant woman who thinks it's cool random people touching her belly, not every pregnant woman who wants to hear from someone in the elevator a class about the best kind of delivery.

Pregnancy, in addition to giving me new insight into mothers in general and especially my mother, also taught me to see that there is no such thing as a full, poetic and beautiful pregnancy. Yes, there is every woman's experience, and although I have something to complain about and I don't feel so guilty anymore when I complain, there are a lot worse people than me.

Luckily, I have a good health plan, I work in a place where I've had all the support I can, and I'm married to a man who does what he can and can't do to make me feel better and more comfortable. Luckily, my family received the news of my party pregnancy. Luckily, my baby will not suffer some prejudices so common among the people of our country, as he is the son of a white father and mother and will be born in a house that is ours and not rented, will have access to cute clothes, diapers, cradle, pediatrician.

Luckily, his mother is 30 years old, not 13. Luckily, he's not the result of rape and didn't have to come into the world because his mother was too poor to have an abortion. Getting pregnant reinforced my privileges.

This year I will spend my first Mother's Day with my son on my lap and whenever I think about it, I get thrilled. The same goes for my husband, and how nice it is not to have to worry about a missing or unpaid father, for example.

I have been a woman for 30 years now and I know what many other women are like, although in my case the prejudices and violence I experienced because of what some men think about my gender were very small. I have been a woman for 30 years and I know it is not easy, and for 8 months I am a woman who has a child in her belly and now I know that it is not easy EVEN and that our society does its best whenever it can, to make things difficult.

Every day is a day of resisting, fighting, lifting your head, recognizing privileges and looking around.

After I got pregnant, I understood mothers better and learned to respect women who choose not to have children even more and who are also criticized throughout their lives. The woman's body, though hers, is seen as if it were of the whole - and this is exhausting and unfair.

I apologize for the text and thank you who read so far, but if there is one thing that I woke up meaning this March 8th, we deserve freedom.

Freedom to get pregnant without being afraid of losing your job or saying you have children in a future interview; freedom not to get pregnant; freedom to say that motherhood is not a pink-capped poetry book; freedom to seek help in case of rape and not need to be tried for it; freedom to choose when and if we are getting married one day; freedom to samba with the big belly at Carnival; freedom to have a child after 40; freedom to walk alone on the street without scaring to death. That kind of freedom.

There are a lot of distant dreams in the midst of these freedoms that we lack, but one day women like Malala Yousafzai, Amelia Earhart, Ada Lovelace, Nisia Forest, Marie Curie and many others have been dreamy too ... Why not get inspired by them then?

Speaking of Marie Curie, here is a more than special invitation: to subscribe to a weekly newsletter made for smart women - hurry up, the first content will be sent to subscribers today.