Learn what you need to do to succeed on the first crush date

In Tinder times, meeting new people is becoming more and more common, and with new meetings come new concerns: will the person like you? Will the talk be good? What to say? What not to say?

To help us solve these existential questions of modern life, a group of scientists decided to test some conversational techniques and find a way to captivate a person on a first date. We more than thank you.

Basically, what they did was to promote encounters between strangers, who talked about their dreams, described what would be a perfect day for them, shared shameful situations, and so on. What was noticed was that, in all cases, there was a certain level of reciprocity, greater or lesser, but there is a type of reciprocity that is more successful.

Monologue or dialogue?

Among the profiles analyzed there was, of course, the “chatterbox”, who talks non-stop while the other person is just listening, with that landscape face. Which of the two types of interaction do you think tends to end well: one that involves reciprocal dialogue or one that is basically a monologue?

To find out, Dr. Sue Sprecher evaluated the conversation between strangers interacting via a webcam - the online conversation was chosen because it allows the control of external interference such as body language, posture and any other tip that can contribute to that. one person likes or dislikes the other.

Each pair interacted twice so that people who just listened to a chatty volunteer also had the opportunity to talk in another conversation, in order to provide some balance to the study. After each conversation, participants talked about the people they interacted with and said whether or not they enjoyed interacting with them, enjoyed themselves, and the answers they believed their peers would give.

And the winner was

The responses showed that the participants who interacted the most were those who reported liking each other more - bad news for chatterers who love to do monologues. The pairs who interacted the most were also the ones who had the most fun and believed their interlocutors had liked them too. Reciprocity in terms of dialogue seems to be a really important factor.

The truth is that Sprecher's team has proven what many already suspected: good relationships start with good conversations, and we tend to prefer people who let us talk and who show reciprocity of interest in dialogue and storytelling.

In short: To get along on the first date, don't be the one who talks nonstop, but also the one who doesn't say anything. Interaction, dear readers, is the rule of success.