Keyed up! The consequences of playing stalker with ex on social media

It was not love, it was a trap. The relationship ends, Facebook's status changes quickly, notes are torn, personal items are returned, and Tinder is properly installed. Most of the time, ex-lovebirds stop following each other's social networks, but, let us all confess, every once in a while every mortal gives that basic stalk in the profile of what was once called a "big guy."

If you are still rummaging through the posts of that old crush on Facebook, know that this kind of attitude affects your mental health and makes it harder for you to get on with your life and heal from this failed relationship. That is ... This is a text with those truths that you were not in the mood to hear (or read). Sorry, but read on, please - we just want your good.

Psychology explains

Psychologist Tara Marshall argues that maintaining a friendship with your ex on Facebook is not exactly the best decision of all. Why? Simple: having the opportunity to learn about the life (or better: the good part of life, which is just what Facebook shows you) of that person you dated one day increases the pain. from the end.

Like a lot of scientific research, this one by Marshall only proved something that many of us already suspected, and we may even have felt it once in a while. Did you find it bad? Calm down, making it worse: following your ex on social media also gives you more sex drive for that person, which isn't very good considering that terms usually involve the end of the practice, and over time, of sexual desire.

Remember that each relationship breakdown is different, and the reaction to it depends on the personal experiences of those involved, the level of intimacy they had, the time they spent together and, of course, how they deal with the separation. In this sense, it is possible that separate people can maintain friendship, which is great, but it is better to keep your distance even, especially in the early phase of separation.

But and now? Does friendship end? Blocks? Stop following?

And then you wonder if you should break your friendship with your ex, right? The answer, we say, will not be very conclusive: maybe. The point is to find out what is the real reason why you go after your ex's information. How would you feel if you found out that person is dating someone else?

For Marshall, people follow their old Facebook partners for two main reasons: either because they feel connected to them yet or because they really don't care anymore and just have that more than human curiosity about how the other person is living. For therapist Nina Atwood, the desire to maintain friendship on social networks helps us deal with the pain of loss less intensely.

However, Atwood points out that this may even make our little hearts less painful, but it makes overcoming longer to come. What's more, it's also scientifically proven that stalking people from our past often increases our anxiety and jealousy levels.

Then it's up to you, dear newly single creature: either you stay up to date or choose that magic option called “unfollow” that really can make us happier, more independent human beings. After all this sermon, tell us: Are you the incorrigible stalker type or do you think that once the hammer is hit, goodbye goes for everything, including social media?