Is it hard to forget the ex? The following tips will help you in this process.

Dating and even marriages come to an end, even though the initial idea is that love lasts forever and ever. With the separation, some needs arise: first we get rid of what reminds us of the ex's existence (photos, books, clothes, toothbrush); Then we drifted away from some people and places to avoid the unwanted encounter. And that's the thing: each one goes their own way, no matter how sentimentally hurt they are.

The fact is that after a while we get over the breakup and can think of other potential "dating" or boyfriends / girlfriends. At least in theory. The truth, dear reader, is that some people can't get the line going, and instead spend months stuck in memories of what their ex-couple's life was once - bad business, huh. Business Insider has outlined some psychological tricks that can help the everlasting lovers move on. Check it out below:

1 - Don't just think about the legal parts of the old relationship

When a relationship breaks up and the breakup takes one of the parties by surprise, it is normal for the person who got kicked in the ass to spend hours and hours remembering how cool the relationship was and how full the ex was. of qualities. This may be true, but focusing our thoughts on the colorful side of the relationship makes it difficult to overcome — it is the same sabotage that happens when someone loses a loved one and refuses to believe in that person's death.

One way to deal with the situation is to do the opposite process and instead of martyrizing yourself by remembering the good things, start making a list of every little detail in the old relationship that was unpleasant to you. You may well finish this exercise by celebrating the end.

2 - A little self-help doesn't hurt anyone

Although most self-help books on relationship endings assume that only women suffer from the end, it is advisable that you take a look at the available works and even read some of these books - there will always be one thing, if only one. phrase that can make you feel better and want to go on with life.

3 - Ask your best friend for help

Call your BFF for coffee - or, on warmer days, for ice cream - and talk about how you feel about the breakup. The point here is that when we hear ourselves talking out loud about our feelings and when we do it in someone's presence, the chances of overcoming them increase.

These deep and frank conversations with a trusted friend help you not to be alone, and in a way are a way for you to learn more about your own feelings.

4 - Don't be impulsive

It's normal for you to want to do impulsive actions, such as posting unnecessary and intimate outbursts on social networks or suddenly even calling the person you broke up with - especially if you decided to drown your sorrows in a bottle of wine. The tip is: if you drink, don't mind; do not post.

Another point that should be considered calmly and not in a moment of impulse is the will we sometimes feel to radicalize. Before you dye your hair green or get a huge back tattoo, wait for the dust to settle.

5 - Write, but only for you

Posting text on Facebook is not a good idea, but writing about your feelings and keeping that content private is. Some people are really relieved after saying, albeit in writing and without having to show anyone what emotions are causing the distress. Buy a notebook and have it seen.

6 - Take a look in the mirror

It doesn't have to be literally - the idea is that when you can't accept the idea of ​​ending a relationship, you try to get to know each other better and reflect on your love choices, for example. What can help a lot in this process is to look for a psychologist - the psychologist specializes in helping people overcome trauma and see what's valuable within themselves.

It is not uncommon for self-esteem to be shaken at the end of a relationship. However, there are a variety of ways we can understand what causes our self-esteem to shatter - once you know that, it will be easier to raise your morale again.

* Posted on 1/31/2017